In 2013 a UK school teacher was sacked for failing to complete a risk assessment before pruning a bush at her school. If you think that’s ridiculous, then you would also be appalled to learn that the Welsh Ambulance Service refused to take this man’s 95-year-old Aunt to hospital for a basic medical procedure because of the potential health and safety risk posed by the three front steps of her house.
Whether we like it or not, we live in a society that attempts to manage risk, analyze it, reduce it, and ultimately eliminate it. Before 1970, seat belts were an optional upgrade in cars in my home country — Australia. I happen to think seat belts are a good, sensible addition to vehicles, by the way, but these days a child has to be in a specially fitted — and downright expensive — child restraint until he is seven years old. I’m pretty sure at the age of seven, I was riding in the back of a truck — unrestrained, of course.
You don’t have to look too far to see that we are into reducing risk to the point that sometimes defies common sense. Nearly every product on our store shelves is labeled with fine print absolving the manufacturer of liability. Forbes Magazine published some examples of the plethora of stupid warning labels that you can find on products.
Some would have to be seen to be believed. For example:
- “Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw” — On a chainsaw
- “Safety goggles recommended” — On a letter opener
- “Do not use for drying pets.” — In the manual for a microwave oven.
- “Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.” — On a portable stroller.
- “Do not put any person in this washer” — On a washing machine
- “Warning: May contain eggs.” — On a carton of eggs.
- “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” On sleeping tablets
- “Do not use while sleeping” — On a hairdryer.
Stupid.
Then we have the phenomenon of Helicopter parenting. You have probably heard about helicopter parents who hover over their children to keep them safe from every conceivable danger. They keep a vigilant eye on their little and not-so-little ones, protecting them from virtually everything. Helicopter parents try to shield their children from not only physical danger but from failure and negative consequences of every kind.
Protectiveness, and indeed, over-protectiveness, has become a way of life in our culture. Now, an argument can be made that much of it is, on balance, a good thing. But, according to Dave Kinnaman in his book, You’ve Lost Me, spiritual over-protectiveness is actually driving young people away from the church.
Inside the Christian Bubble
Does the church prepare young people for a life of risk, adventure, and service to the world? Or are we trying to churn out safe, nice, compliant Christian kids huddled in their sheltered Christian homes, too frightened to step outside and engage with the world beyond the church? According to Kinnaman, wrapping your kids in spiritual cotton wool might actually result in the opposite of what you are hoping for.
Kinnaman’s research shows young adults who have left the church identified the factors as reasons for their departure:
- 34% said the church’s tendency to demonize everything outside the church was a factor
- 31% said that the church ignores the problems in the real world
- 27% said that Christians are afraid of popular culture (especially movies, music, and video games)
- 18% said the church squashes creative expression and another
- 18% said they are involved in social causes that the church just doesn’t seem to do or say much about, like protecting the environment, for example.
In short, many young Christians feel overprotected. Millions of young believers perceive that the church has kept them fearful and detached from the world — a world mind you, that they are called by faith in Christ to help, to serve, and to change.
There is a great irony in this. You see, being a Christian was once so dangerous that at the Nicene Council, an important church meeting in the 4th century A.D., of the 318 church leaders who attended, only 12 had not lost an eye or a hand or did not limp on a leg lamed by torture for their Christian faith. Those were the days!
Walk into your average Sunday service these days and take a look around at the young people there (if you can find any), and most likely, they will look bored. Young people are drawn to risk, challenge and adventure, but these things are often discouraged in the local church. Instead, many congregations offer a safe, nurturing community — an oasis of stability and predictability. Studies show that women and seniors gravitate toward these things. So not surprisingly, such congregations are over-represented with women and seniors.
Richard Rohr, in his book, “From Wild Man to Wise Man,” says it like this:
“Real spirituality should emphasize movement over stillness, action over theory, service to the world over religious discussions, speaking the truth over social niceties, and doing justice instead of self-serving. Without this, spirituality becomes characterized by too much inwardness, a morass of unclarified feelings, and religion itself as a security blanket. This prevents a journey to anyplace new, and fosters a constant protecting of the old. It is a no-risk religion, just the opposite of Abraham, Moses, Paul and Jesus…”
As long as we present the Christian faith as something less than the great, challenging, risky, dangerous, treacherous adventure that it was meant to be, young people will find their adventure elsewhere.
Who could blame them?
Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
So What Can We Do?
Try to keep your kids inside the Christian bubble at your own peril. According to Kinnaman, though, if we want young people to actually engage with the Christian faith, we will not achieve this by being hyper-protective and demonizing everything outside of the church bubble. (Yes, it turns out that the evangelical obsession with homeschooling may not actually be a good thing). Instead, we must resist our tendency towards over-protectiveness and turn it into opportunities to develop wisdom and discernment — modern people call it critical thinking.
Demonstrate Compassion
Over-protectiveness characterizes everything and everyone that is not Christian as evil, but discernment helps young people understand that other people are not our enemies— and we should overwhelming treat people with respect and compassion. Moreover, discernment teaches young people that there is truth to be found in many places and from many people, and Christians, by no means, have a monopoly on the truth.
Model Cultural Exegesis
Over-protectiveness makes strict rules about media consumption. It avoids watching, reading, and talking about current events and popular culture and hopes that it will just go away. But, as famous theologian Karl Barth once said, discernment reads the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other. Rather than steering clear of secular music, movies, websites, books, and TV shows, why not watch, listen and read together and then do a cultural exegesis together. Ask the question, “What values is this promoting? Are these positive or negative values? Why?”
Stop Oversimplifying
Over-protectiveness oversimplifies the tough stuff of life — suffering, failure, relationships and offers formulas and glib catchphrases instead of honest answers. But discernment is honest about the hazards of being human and teaches that life is complex and messy. Christianity offers a framework to understand that mess — though not entirely because, in reality, many questions simply have no answers. We must learn to accept mystery if we are to become spiritually mature. Mature Christianity never promises ongoing peace, health, and prosperity because that belies the reality of life.
Encourage Responsible Risk-Taking
Over-protectiveness discourages risk-taking and uses fear to protect the next generation. But discernment guides young people to trust God fearlessly and follow Christ’s call to reach and change the world in positive ways. This means taking Jesus’ words seriously when he says, “If you try to hang onto your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” Let’s extrapolate this a little further: If you try to hang on to your kids’ lives, you’ll lose them. Are we willing to embrace this truth on behalf of the children that God has entrusted into our care?
Entrepreneurialism, Advocacy, Influence & Social Justice Projects
You could imagine the church giving itself a pat on the back for raising a young person from infancy to adulthood who ends up being a good, church-attending, Bible-believing, tithing member of the church, who will punch out 2.5 kids and teach them to do exactly the same. But, eventually, you will find a whole generation will get bored of going through the motions. Instead, we ought to be calling young people to do great things — and by great things, I’m talking about becoming leaders in social justice, charity, advocacy — stuff that involves getting up off the pew and actually doing something. Yes, why shouldn’t young Christians be entrepreneurs and influencers? Are we so interested in keeping them in the cage that they never learn to fly?
It’s time to ditch the bubble wrap
What if God is preparing the next generation for great exploits in his name? What if a new renaissance of charity, social justice, and mission could be realized in this generation? Is our preoccupation with safety keeping our children on the sideline? Or are we willing partners in preparing them for what God has planned?
Jesus knew how to call young people. Think about it. He called 12 young people — his disciples — to come and follow him, and they dropped everything and went. But have you ever considered that 24 parents let them go? Not one of the parents said, “That’s too risky, too dangerous, just plain ridiculous. What about your future? What about your family? What about your safety?” Each parent understood that sometimes the best thing you can do is pop the bubble of spiritual safety that you put around your kids and let them find their own spiritual adventure —one without you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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