I remember going to a Christian youth camp back when I was a teenager, where I first heard the “true love waits” message.
This “don’t-have-sex-until-you’re-married-kids” sermon included a slide show of genitalia infected with sexually transmitted diseases and videos of young people lamenting how miserable their lives had become because they became pregnant when they were teens.
At the end of it, I was sure that having sex resulted in either pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection, 100% of the time — unless you were married. Then you were protected.
Following the sermon, the camp leaders, perhaps in an attempt to be interactive and relevant, decided to run a “Question-and-Answer” panel where a line-up of so-called experts could respond to our questions.
But the Q&A panel didn’t go well.
In fact, it was an unmitigated disaster. Why? Because at one point, one of the panelists, in a moment of rare honesty, let it slip that she and her husband hadn’t waited for marriage before having sex. She concluded by saying, “So yeah… we had sex when we were engaged, and that was okay for us.”
This wasn’t in the script.
The response was swift and brutal. There was an uproar—the room filled with a cacophony of disapproval. Supposedly spirit-filled Christian young people were up out of their chairs — yelling, heckling, shouting the panel down. I vividly remember a red-faced teenage girl shaking her fist in outrage and yelling, “NO! NO! NO! THAT’S WRONG!” It was the closest I’ve come to being in a Christian riot. The camp director had to intervene and remove the ‘premarital sex-offender’ from the room.
We didn’t see her again.
Later, they sat us all down again and explained why this woman was wrong. “But,” they explained cheerfully, “There is forgiveness for sinners.”
. . .
The black and white world of fundamentalism
As I was thinking back to this experience again recently, it occurred to me that this question and answer panel was not really designed to be a forum for honest questioning or discussion.
No. It was merely a ruse to ram home the message that the camp leaders wanted to deliver. We were invited to ask our questions, but only so the panelists could politely explain why we were wrong and then reinforce the view that sex before marriage is sinful.
There was no other way of seeing it. It was black and white.
By the way, there is no statement in the Bible that says, “Sex before marriage is wrong.” But that’s another story. I’m not here to talk about sex. I’m here to talk about how certain corners of Christianity are experts in reinforcing what they already “know” but are seemingly unable to critique it, question it, or reform it.
After thirty years sitting in church and ten years preaching at people, I am convinced that many people in the church want to hear a sermon that merely confirms what they already believe. They don’t want their long-held convictions challenged or questioned. Nope. They want them reinforced.
Why some Christians can’t see what they can’t see
I read an excellent book recently by Brian McLaren, who has done some fascinating research about what makes people see things so differently from one another. In his book, he identified a number of biases that prevent people from seeing beyond that which they already know.
McLaren says, “People can’t see what they can’t see. Their biases get in the way, surrounding them like a high wall, trapping them in ignorance, deception, and illusion. No amount of reasoning and argument will get through to them unless we first learn how to break down the walls of bias.”
Of course, having biases is not unique to Christians. Everyone has them. However, in this article, I want to have a look at how these biases manifest and operate uniquely in the evangelical Church world because I believe they explain why it’s near impossible to change the mind of someone who is entrenched in a fundamentalist belief system. So, here they are — the seven reasons why it’s hard to change an evangelical Christian’s mind:
1. I judge new ideas based on old ideas
Human beings judge new ideas based on the ease with which they fit in and confirm the only standards they have: old ideas, old information, and trusted authorities. As a result, our framing story, belief system, or paradigm excludes whatever doesn’t fit. This is known as confirmation bias.
This is why many Christians would prefer a sermon that fits neatly within the paradigm they already possess without really being aware of that paradigm in the first place. For example, many Christians fail to see that they view the world through a particular lens — namely, the glasses of their own tradition. Almost always, those glasses are handed down to them by their spiritual ancestors. Instead, they believe things like, “God revealed himself to me,” which may be true — but only in part, at best.
The German evangelical theologian W. Schlichting wrote: “The blind spot of the biblicists is that they do not realize the extent that their own thinking is influenced by the time in which they live, by their predecessors and their surroundings — while they criticize this attitude severely in others.”
2. I’d rather a simple lie than a complex truth
It is easier to believe a simple falsehood than to do the hard work of understanding a complex truth. This is known as complexity bias. The human brain naturally resists anything that requires it to labor too much. Yes, we have lazy brains.
When I was a kid in Sunday School, I knew the answer to the question was always “Jesus.” I would raise my hand and dutifully parrot the responses that the Sunday School teacher required. Maybe Jesus is the answer. Maybe Jesus isn’t. But it sure is easier to just go with the answer I’ve always been told is the answer rather than pulling it apart and critically examining it.
Yes, it’s easier to believe a simple lie than a complex truth.
What is more, people are even more susceptible to lies that are confidently delivered by charismatic leaders. Surely the 1940s proved this true. Nothing has changed. Research tells us that we are more likely to believe something if it’s delivered confidently, even if it’s not true. In fact, we are more likely to listen to a confident fraudster than an unassuming expert.
3. I cannot see what my community doesn’t see
It’s almost impossible to see what our community doesn’t, can’t, or won’t see. This is known as community bias.
In the church, belief is a community exercise. Belonging is given to those who fit within the spoken and unspoken beliefs and behaviors that are considered orthodox. People who deviate from what is deemed to be orthodox are shamed and shunned. It could be behind their backs on the gossip circuit or even from the pulpit when the alarmed Pastor seeks to correct any wicked heresy before it takes root and leads others astray.
Rejection is a powerful motivator for not “seeing” beyond what your community sees. Most people care so much about belonging that they suppress and bury any uneasy feelings or doubts they have about Christianity for the sake of fitting into their Christian community. After all, we have seen what happens to people who refuse to conform: They always end up on the outer.
4. I won’t listen to you because you’re my enemy
Growing up in the church, I was taught a dehumanizing and objectifying view of people deemed as “non-believers.” I was taught that it is “us vs. them.” We lived inside a Christian bubble where we were protected from what Christians call “the world,” which was basically anything and anyone outside the church.
We stuck to our kind. We homeschooled our kids so they don’t have to engage with people who are different from us nor encounter their “dangerous” and “evil” ideologies.
The thing is, when I don’t have intense and sustained personal contact with “the other,” my prejudices and false assumptions go unchallenged. This is known as contact bias.
The undoing of these views occurred for me when I actually started to meet some of the “thems.” For example, the first time I met a member of the LGBTIQ+ community was when I was almost 20 years old. Yes, I was “protected” for two whole decades before I even encountered someone with different sexual preferences to me. And what I realized, almost straight away, was that these “others” that the church had demonized were genuinely good-hearted people.
When you actually have contact with people who are different from you, it becomes difficult to pontificate about the supposed wickedness of their lifestyle choices.
5. I know more than you do about God
We don’t know how much (or little) we know because we don’t know how much (or little) others know. In other words, incompetent people assume that most other people are about as competent as they are, and as a result, they underestimate their own incompetence. Or to put it another way, the more stupid a person is, the less likely they are to believe that someone is smarter than them.
This is known as competency bias.
What does it look like in Christian circles? Well, it manifests itself as certitude. We congratulate people in the church for being certain and unwavering in their beliefs. What is more, they are unlikely to be open to anything you might have to say to them if they are certain they are already right in their beliefs.
In fact, a dialogue is utterly impossible with someone who believes that they are right and you are wrong. After all, whatever you might share with them is merely an opportunity for them to help you know what they know so that they can fix and correct you. Since they are sure they know more than you, you cannot change their mind.
The irony is that for faith to even exist, it requires us to be uncertain in the first place. Therefore, I would argue that the more spiritually mature person is not the person who is certain, but the person who is comfortable with mystery, paradox, and not knowing all the answers. Or, to put it another way, the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know. When you think this way, you are able to believe that just about anyone can teach you something you don’t know.
6. My living requires me not to see things differently
This one is for all the paid ministry workers and clergy. I speak to pastors all the time who have significant issues with the church system or theological hang-ups with evangelicalism that really should cause them to hang up their Bible and walk away.
But they don’t, and they won’t.
And there’s a simple reason for that. It’s hard for anyone to see something when their way of making a living requires them not to see it. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you. This is known as cash bias.
7. I am not the villain; I am the victim or the hero
Did you know that under stress or shame, our brains are attracted to stories that relieve us, exonerate us, or portray us as innocent victims of malicious conspirators?
This is known as conspiracy bias.
No one is prepared to admit that they might be the villain in the story. Everyone likes to think of themselves as either the victim or, better yet, the hero. After all, if I am the victim, it absolves me of responsibility. And if I am the hero, well… hooray for me!
Christians love conspiracy theories. Research tells us that evangelical Christians are statistically more likely to believe in the conspiracy theories collectively packaged as “QAnon,” for example. The thing that conspiracy theories are great at delivering is the message that “Someone out there is out to get us. We are the good guys, and they are the bad guys!”
A mature person can take one step back, look at the bald facts and say to themselves with brutal honesty, “Wait a second… maybe I’m the bad guy in this story!” Sure, people in general struggle to do this at the best of times. But, there are a few reasons why a Christian might struggle more than your average Joe.
Firstly, when you believe that God has appointed you to save the world by sharing a message of salvation through Christ alone, there is a risk of you having a hero complex. You believe you have a higher calling, and you will do whatever it takes to be the hero you think God wants you to be — even if it means offending some people.
Then, when people are actually offended by you telling them they are going to Hell, you swap the hero card for the victim card instead. You act shocked when people avoid you, call out your hypocrisy, and ultimately cut you out of their lives. In fact, some Christians go further and suggest that it is an attack on religious freedom.
Often when someone suggests to the church that perhaps it is the villain in the unfolding drama that is the radical decline of the church, the church scoffs and says, “Impossible! We are the good guys!”
You cannot change your mind if you cannot entertain the idea that you might be wrong.
The renewal of the mind
There is a verse in Romans 12:2 that Christians love to quote:
The thing is, often, when Christians quote this verse, they believe that “conforming to the patterns of the world” refers to “wicked” things like affirming the LGBTIQ+ community, being pro-choice, or, dare I say it, engaging in pre-marital sex.
But what if the renewal of the mind that is spoken of here actually refers not to belief and behavior but to a different way of thinking where we are honest enough to own our biases and to test our thoughts on the scales of truth? What if knowing God’s will depends on our ability to see beyond our own?
Hey… let’s be honest. It’s not like you or me are the “enlightened ones” and those poor Christians are trapped inside their own old ways of thinking. We all have trouble seeing beyond our own biases. It’s just that when you add religious fundamentalism into the mix, you really can end up with a level of closed-mindedness that would make the Pharisees seem accommodating.
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This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
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The post The Seven Reasons You Can’t Change an Evangelical’s Mind appeared first on The Good Men Project.