Five Minute Friday - Disagree

One word. Five minutes to write about it. This is the idea behind Five Minute Friday and this is today's free-writing post.

agree to disagree

********************

Disagreement isn't fun. It's uncomfortable at best. It's usually an understatement to describe a stomach upset with "I must have eaten something that disagreed with me". Which I've done many times, by the way. It's also usually an understatement to say that I had a disagreement with someone. 

If we all knew how to disagree respectfully and calmly, we'd likely be able to resolve more disagreements, don't you think? If we could be kind and willing to listen, maybe we would learn something or hear other points of view. Maybe we would find that we have more common ground on some issues than we realized at first. We could find solutions to problems and on matters of preference or opinion, we could agree to disagree and we'd be at peace with one another.

If we'd agree to disagree on those things and practice respect, perhaps we'd be better able to find common ground on those bigger and more important issues. There are some issues on which I will not budge, no matter how much you disagree with me. But did you know that it's possible to work alongside folks you disagree with? Did you know you can maintain friendships despite disagreeing with your friend's views? And did you know that you can love your family like crazy even though you disagree? It's not always easy. Sometimes the things we disagree on are big and important issues and it's hard to put them aside and focus on the things we have in common. It's not easy - even with family - to forgive an offense committed when we had a sharp disagreement.

Try agreeing to disagree. There are people dear to me who have very different views of politics, education, parenting, social issues, or religious views; but I love them anyway. For the most part, we get along just fine. Depending on our relationship and the issues we disagree on, we can discuss and debate and learn from each other, or we just know that some things are better left unsaid because we already know where we stand and that we disagree. There are a couple of people that I love dearly, but they don't seem to have anything to say about the very many things we have in common. They rarely offer congratulations or compliments or even just a chatty or humorous comment on something light-hearted. They only stick their oar in when they want to tell me how wrong or stupid they think I am. Their only comments are the ones in which they sneer or mock. That's more than just disagreeing with me. That's disagreeable. I hope they don't intend it, but it feels like they are so focused on our different views on certain issues that they don't even notice anything else about me or my life. 

If you completely disagree with your friend's taste in music, her choice of reading material, or his political views, you could scroll by those posts on Facebook and instead comment on their vacation photos, discuss and debate movies, or compliment them on their achievements or their kids' graduations or whatever. If you only ever show up in their comments to argue with them and their friends, or be snarky about an issue you disagree on, that's not much of a friendship and you're unlikely to get them to agree with you. Even close family relationships become strained when you have nothing kind or friendly to say, and you aren't proving anything other than what a disagreeable and unhappy person you are.

Don't let disagreements over small things end your relationships. Don't be disagreeable just because you disagree.