Heading into the thick of the holiday season is such a beautiful, fun, festive time. I’ll be honest with you though; I’ve been emotional for… a couple months now. I turned 39 in September and I am wondering if I’m personally trying to stretch this whole year into a midlife crisis? Crisis sounds immediate and dramatic, and I don’t feel that, but emotional? Yes.
I stare at the kids daily and wonder how we got here; they are getting so big so fast. I don’t have toddlers to worry about potty training or eating vegetables anymore. Parenting is less physically demanding, but more emotionally demanding now (am I guiding them well, teaching them what they need to know?). I’m spending more time just sitting with them, brushing evening tangles out of hair and listening to what’s on their minds.
I’m looking at David and noticing a few grays pop up in his beard and want to just quit everything and take off on a giant adventure with him. I want to live big and do it with the people I love while we’re all feeling energetic and healthy.
I want to simultaneously take on 100 new projects and quit everything. I want to find a way to make time just stop for a month. I want to go do all the things and see all the people and yet at the same time I want to just cozy up at home with my family and shut out the crazy world.
I want to travel with my mom and somedays I still really, really miss my dad. Time just flies and I want to figure out how to make the most of it.
So November goals. Perhaps number one should be find a therapist? Half kidding
- Pick three a day. I have a master “to do” list and each day I go in and pick three items to focus on for the day. That’s IT. It might feel like not enough sometimes, but I find three items is enough to move the needle forward and still make time for the necessary daily tasks and some margin.
- Keep meals simple. I’m not in a season to create new recipes right now and I need to just embrace that. Even if I’m sharing dinners on IG, they can be simple. Last night I shared our Indian takeout- ha!
- Embrace the cozy days. If a slow and rainy day arrives, I don’t want to push through it; I want to breath it in and enjoy it.
- Clean out the closets. I have piles of stuff I’m just waiting to figure out what to do with, but I’m over it. Donate, giveaway, throw away. I am ready for a more peaceful space.
- Let Christmas slip in. Not sure when we’ll pull out decorations but if a rainy day presents itself I will not hesitate to turn of a Christmas flick. So many good ones and so little time!
- Just keep sharing whatever comes to mind. Somedays I feel a bit of an identity crisis in this space. I don’t have the chubby, cherub-faced toddlers to share about anymore, I’m not creating many new recipes in this phase of life, and sharing the health information I find fascinating (like how to balance blood sugars- my A1C and fasting glucose/insulin in my most recent blood work were the best they’ve ever been) feels preachy or like I don’t have enough letters behind my name to share that kind of info. Is there a space here for a mom in a busy season of homeschooling and life, just sharing about the day to day?
Quite the impromptu little vent, huh? Thanks for listening. <3